It has happened. If you look through the BBC’s archives, you will find an account of a time when it actually did rain apples in one part of Britain. This probably won’t happen to you, but if it does – or, which is more likely, you have a very productive apple tree or two, or else a fantastic special at the nearest farmers’ market – what are you going to do with all those apples?

You could, of course, do what author Terry Pratchett refers to as storing it in other people, meaning that you give apples away to friends and neighbours with the unspoken understanding that they’ll do the same for you. However, you may also want to save the apples somewhere in your home for later use.

Just storing the apples in a cool dark place can work for a short while, but remember the old saying that one bad apple ruins the barrel. This is because an apple that’s starting to decompose –even just a little bit – gives off a gas that makes the rest of the barrel rot. If you really want to store apples “as is,” then daily inspection is essential.

The simplest option is to slice the apples up and stew them lightly (with or without sugar – up to you) and put them into containers in the deep freeze. You can then thaw them when you want apple puree. You should definitely core the apples, but you don’t have to peel them – a lot of the vitamins are stored just under the skin. You need to have access to a deep freeze, and you also need some freezer-suitable containers. But don’t buy special freezer containers – it’s much better to reuse old ice cream and yoghurt containers for freezing things in.

Apples, as you will hear a few nutritionists say, are rich in pectin. Pectin is not just a digestive aid – it’s what’s needed for making jams and jellies. The sourer varieties of apple make superb jelly, especially crab apples (if the local council has thoughtfully planted a few crab apple trees in your neighbourhood in an attempt to beautify the town, then don’t complain about the ripe fruit falling on the path, like some do – get a bucket or two and help yourself to the free bounty).

To make jelly, boil the fruit to a pulp. You don’t need to peel or core them – just boil the crabs whole or cut up larger varieties into rough pulp. Don’t use too much water. Then find an ancient pillowcase and put it into a big measuring jug. Tip the pulp into the pillowcase then put it in a cupboard and forget about it until the next day (don’t forget about it entirely or it will start going off – and won’t turn into cider because you’ve boiled it). Remove the bag of pulp and measure the amount of juice you got from it. Purists tell you not to squeeze the bag of pulp, as this makes the resulting jelly cloudy. Throw the pulp into the compost heap or eat it. Boil the juice, then add 1 pound of sugar for every pint of juice (or 1 kilo of sugar for every litre of juice). Boil until it thickens, then ladle it into warm, sterilized jars. Once you’ve mastered the basic jelly, you can get fancy by adding chopped herbs after it thickens – mint and lavender are winners.

You can also dehydrate apples, either in a fancy dehydrating machine (a worthwhile investment if you’ve got a few fruit trees) or in a conventional oven. The apples will need to be peeled, cored and sliced finely – you can either slice them in rings or in plain slices. The results can be used in muesli or to make your own delicious herbal tea (add cinnamon and ginger).

Another option is not particularly natural or healthy, but as party food goes, they’re pretty good and something of a novelty these days. These are good old toffee apples. You’ll need some decent hot-dog style sticks to attach to the apples, and plenty of sugar. Use about 3 cups of caster sugar and 1 cup water, plus a splash of vinegar – boil all this up, stirring like mad so it doesn’t burn on the bottom of the saucepan (hell to clean). You can also add red food colouring, but this is optional and even less natural. When the syrup reaches the “hard crack” stage (i.e. if you drip some into cold water, it solidifies into a zigzag that you can’t knead with your fingers), dunk the apples into the mixture, holding firmly onto the stick and trying not to scald your fingers. Put the apples to harden on greaseproof paper. Notice that this won’t cook the apple, and you don’t need to peel it, so very few nutrients will be lost from the apple – a bit of a bonus for party foods.