There you are in your new flat. It’s time to have a trial run before the flat-warming party. You’ve got the stereo on full bore, the lava lamp (make that several lava lamps) are plugged into the four-pin plug, and another double plug feeds off the same power socket to the TV, the video, the popcorn machine and the heater. You plug in the PlayStation into another socket in the same room and… bang! Darkness, silence and the smell of half-cooked popcorn. What’s going on? Do you have to call the electrician in (which will mean waiting longer than you really want to and postponing that party)? Or can you deal with this yourself.
Well, if you overload a power socket like I’ve described, you’ve probably blown a fuse. Unplug most of those things, grab a torch and get started. You can fix this.
Changing a fuse is only slightly harder than changing a light bulb. How do you know that you need to change a fuse rather than change a light bulb – and how do you tell both from a general power cut. A fuse box is designed to cut off part of the house when the wires have been overloaded with appliances or demand. If a light bulb has blown or an appliance has suddenly died, you can check to see if it’s the appliances or the fuses by switching on a few light bulbs in the next room over, or by plugging in another appliance and seeing if it works. If the light in the next room doesn’t go on and the new appliance you plug in doesn’t work, the chances are that you have to change a fuse. You can tell if you have a blown fuse if some of the lights in the house go on but others don’t. If everything’s off, then you have a power cut and you can’t do a thing except phone the power company and let them know.
You will now have to locate the fuse box. Murphy’s Law dictates that it will be tucked in a dark corner in the part of the house with the blown fuse, so get a torch. The mains switch will be located near all the fuse boxes. If you have the more modern type of fuse that re-sets itself, your task is simple – just locate the switch that has tripped and is pointing the opposite way to all the others and flick it back on again. The job is done.
If you have the older sort of fuse, you will have to replace the wire yourself. First of all, find out which fuse has blown. If you’re lucky, the fuse box will have labels on it telling you which fuse relates to which part of the house (e.g. “upstairs lights” “oven” “downstairs switches” “garage”). If you’re unlucky, you will be confronted with an array of identical looking porcelain or plastic (non-conductive so you can touch it without electrocuting yourself) boxes. You will have to pull each one out one by one – this will cut the power to the area that the fuse services, so warn other members of the household first before you plunge them into darkness or pull the plug on their computer game, and be prepared to go around the house re-setting electrical clocks that are plugged into the mains. If you are nervous around mains electricity – and this is understandable – you may like to turn the mains off before you start pulling out fuse boxes. The blown fuse will be easy to spot: the wire running from A to B in the box you pull out will have snapped or melted in the middle.
Now what? First of all, take careful note of two things.
Firstly, check the way that the wire is attached to the metal pins sticking out of the plastic or ceramic, because you’re going to have to wind the new fuse wire back in. Secondly, find out the strength of the fuse wire: is it 5, 10 or 15 amp wire? This will be written somewhere on the fuse box. Now you can take the old, broken wire out and get rid of it, preferably in a “scrap metal for recycling” bin.
Go and get some more fuse wire. If you’re sensible or lucky, some will be stored near the fuse box itself. If you aren’t either sensible or lucky, you will need to pop out and buy some from the nearest DIY or household goods store (don’t be afraid to ask at the counter). Make sure that you use the right sort of wire – the sort that has the same amp rating as the old one. Do not substitute old guitar strings, bits of fencing wire, the innards of twist-ties, copper wires from old circuit boards, nails or unbent paper clips. While these conduct electricity, they conduct too much electricity and can lead to fires – a fuse is a safety feature to stop things getting overloaded and too hot.
Snip off about ten centimetres maximum of the new fuse wire (you may be able to get away with less) and wind it back onto the metal pins the way the old wire was wound on. If the fuse box has a special hole that the wire should go through, make sure that you feed the new wire through and don’t take any shortcuts. Trim off any excess wire.
Now you can put the fuse box back into the board. If you turned the mains off, turn it back on again. The job is done. If in your case you were not able to do it, I would recommend hiring a handyman London.
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This writer feels a little bit of a hypocrite writing this article, as I spend a good chunk of my day in front of a computer and – at least according to my ISP – have to use Wi-Fi internet, as through-the-wires broadband isn’t suitable for my location.
EMFs or Electro-Magnetic Frequencies are a subject that often crops up when discussing natural homes and natural living. The theory states that the electrical waves sent out by electrical and electronic gadgets of all types can damage or affect our cells. Strong fields are believed to be particularly harmful, and homes near cell-phone towers or underneath high-voltage power cables are thought to be particularly full of this e-smog.
Scientific research has not said a definite yea or nay regarding the potential damage of EMF put out by either cellphone transmitters, power pylons, mobile phones or all our electrical odds and ends. However, it is certainly true that strong frequencies have been shown in the lab to cause a few mutations here and there, and anecdotally, the only person this writer knows who contracted leukaemia at a young age (in her 30s) was living in rented accommodation almost directly underneath a power pylon – the thing was practically in her garden. EMFs are also supposed to disturb sleep patterns as well as being possible carcinogens.
On the flip side of the story, remember that sunlight is a form of electromagnetic radiation (have you ever noticed how radio reception is clearer at night time?), the earth puts out a massive amount of magnetic energy (another form of EMF) and your body produces its own electricity.
Those with leanings towards feng shui or New Age principles also believe that the energy put out by electrical gadgets can interfere with our personal energy or chi. If you are of this persuasion, quartz crystals are purported to absorb the e-smog – put them on your fuse box or on your computer to absorb the EMFs and rinse them under clean running water to cleanse them every so often.
Skeptic, cautious or believer, it certainly won’t do you any harm to reduce the amount of EMFs you are exposed to. If nothing else, you’ll save money on your electricity bill.
Some tips:
Turn it off when it’s not in use! This applies to all electrical equipment. Even on standby, computers, TVs, stereos and the like all use a little bit of electricity and put out a bit of EMFs.
Get a break from electromagnetic frequencies when you sleep. Don’t use electric blankets – put on an extra blanket of the usual kind and use a hot water bottle or wheat pack. If you use a radio alarm clock, either keep it somewhere other than right beside your head (this also means that you will have to get out of bed to turn it off). Or else switch to a wind-up alarm clock.
Do you have to do all your work in front of the computer? If you have to read a large document, it’s easier on your eyes if you print out a paper copy and take it somewhere other than in front of your computer. As this document is for your eyes only, you can print it out on the back of old paper. You are more likely to pick up errors on hard copy, and you can scribble all over it if needed, too.
Certain house plants are thought to absorb e-smog along with other types of pollution. Spider plants and peace lilies are particularly good for absorbing EMFs. Feng shui experts also talk about cacti for repelling negative energy.
Negative ions are better for you than positive ones – this one is scientifically proven. If you don’t want to splash out on an ionizer, running water will do the same job – a miniature fountain will do the job and look lovely, and so will opening the windows when it’s raining or taking a shower.
Fresh air also seems to “clear the air” of EMFs. Don’t ask me how, but it seems to work.
Leave your cellphone off or leave it behind occasionally. And remember that old-fashioned methods of communication still work just as well – use the regular phone, letters, sticky notes, notice boards and your voice. Not responding instantly to every message also helps reduce your stress levels.
If possible, minimize the amount of cooking done on or in electrical cookers, especially microwaves. Gas or wood ovens are the best. Eating more raw food is good for your overall health, too.
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Call it what you will: the necessary, the powder room, the loo, the lavatory, the thunderbox, the jakes, the euphemism or other terms that aren’t quite so printable, the toilet is one part of every house that is unpleasant to clean. It’s unpleasant to clean even if you’ve got reasonably tidy household members. If you have children who have a tendency to be a little too late a little too often, or small boys who have what is known in our household as Fireman Syndrome (spraying all over the place), cleaning the toilet is even more unpleasant.
Cleaning the toilet is a job that tends to be left for the “default domestic cleaner London” of that house, usually either Mum or a professional cleaner. But if you’ve got your own house – where you are the default cleaner or you are expected to take a turn – and you can’t afford a professional to do it, then this unpleasant job will need to be tackled. Tie long hair back, put on your rubber gloves, and prepare to dive in.
You will need a good old-fashioned toilet brush – the sort with bristles all around is better than one with bristles just on one side. You will also need a cleaning product, preferably one that has a nozzle that fits inside the rim. Cleaning rags or paper towels (or the toilet paper that is probably conveniently to hand) and some disinfectant are also necessary. If the toilet in question is particularly awful, then you may also need a scrubbing brush and/or a mop and bucket. An old toothbrush is also handy for tricky places – professional cleaners use these for cleaning toilets.
The old adage in 1950s cleaning textbooks was “flush, brush, flush” for cleaning the inside of the toilet bowl. However, in the interests of saving water, this first flush can be omitted unless doing so is obviously necessary. Begin by squirting the cleaner around the rim of the bowl, allowing some to trickle down the sides. You don’t need much – the sides don’t need to be covered top to bottom. As long as you have 80% of the rim circumference covered, you will have enough. Leave this to start working for a minute or so, then get to work with the brush. Begin under the rim and work systematically around the bowl then down the pipe. The place where the water comes up to is particularly prone to getting unpleasantness, as is the very bottom of the bowl. Scrub hard, using an up and down motion or a round and round motion. If you use a nicely scented product, you’ll get lots of satisfying bubbles and a decent smell.
After scrubbing the bowl, replace the brush in a container of disinfectant. You will need to change the disinfectant solution every three or four uses of the brush or so. Then get a solution of disinfectant and use the rags to wipe the top of the rim (the bit that gets sat on accidentally if someone leaves the toilet seat up). Clean the seat itself top and bottom. The hinge part is particularly tricky – an old toothbrush can help you if it’s particularly grubby. Change cleaning rags/paper towels fairly frequently.
If you have tidy household members, you will have just about finished, apart from making sure that the top of tank is dusted, topping up the supplies of toilet paper and removing any old rolls. If you use a garbage bin for waste (e.g. feminine sanitary products), then empty this.
However, if you have messier household members, you will have to keep going. The outside of the bowl and the outside of the downpipe will probably need a good scrub down, especially if you have a small boy with Fireman Syndrome. Fireman Syndrome may also require walls to be scrubbed down – use the scrubbing brush to check for this. The floor will need to be mopped with disinfectant, and possibly scrubbed as well. Once you’ve done all this, you will have finished and can wash your hands and take a well-earned cup of tea.
If you are sensitive to chemicals, then you can use baking soda as a cleaner instead of disinfectant and proprietary cleaner.
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Potluck dinners are an easy form of entertaining, and it’s a way of socialising on the cheap for everybody. It’s cheap for the host family – they don’t have to provide everything – and it’s cheap for the guest families, as they’re not under so great an obligation to provide a fancy dinner party in return. In fact, potluck dinners don’t even have to be at someone’s home.
Potluck dinners are very popular social functions for churches, schools and charity organisations, and you can even organise potluck picnics.
If you are organising a potluck dinner, you have two ways of going about it. One is to go with the original meaning of “pot luck” and let everyone decide for themselves what to bring. While you might think that everyone will end up bringing casseroles, in this writer’s experience, this does not often happen. Yes, if chicken drumsticks have been on special at the nearest supermarket, several people will bring chicken drums or dishes based on chicken drums, but someone will bring a salad or a vegetable, and someone usually decides to take it easy and brings a loaf of bread and/or a one-litre tub of ice cream. This writer used to belong to a group of families that met in our church hall for a fortnightly potluck dinner, and only once did we get nearly everyone bringing casseroles.
You can be a bit more organised, though. If you are a guest and you know who some of the other guests will be (e.g. the other members of a regular potluck dinner group, or other members of the charity that is holding the potluck dinner), you can phone a few and make sure that you’re not all bringing the same thing. If you are hosting it, you can put in requests for certain foods with your invitation (guests will often ask “Can I bring anything in particular?”). Make these requests generic such as “a salad” or “a dessert” or “a main dish” rather than specific such as “a lasagne,” or “rhubarb crumble and custard”, which allows for people’s creativity, skill level and budget to decide the rest. The host should provide drinks and at least one main course. The exception to the “no specifics” rule is if one of your guests has a specialty – asking them for “your fabulous plum and chocolate crumble” or “one of those delicious curries” is a complement!
What makes a good potluck dinner dish and how big should it be? The general rule of thumb is to make enough to feed your own family plus two or three others, or else to make a double batch of whatever you would normally do for your own dinner.
Can’t think beyond the usual casseroles, salads, lasagne and ice cream? Here’s some ideas…
* Deluxe mashed potato with carrots, cheese and garlic mashed in with the potato
* A large bowl of fresh fruit as a dessert
* Spicy potato wedges – mix regular potatoes with sweet potatoes for variety
* Stuffed vegetable marrow: split the marrow in half lengthways, roast it, then fill it with cooked white rice or cheese sauce.
* An antipasto platter with cheese, deli meats, olives, sundried tomatoes and some pickled onions.
* A roast chicken, served either hot or cold.
* Cauliflower cheese. Add in broccoli, boiled pumpkin and carrots for a bit of variety.
* Several large tins of baked beans and grated cheese – heat the beans on the spot and top with the grated cheese (quick and easy if you’re pushed for time)
* The ultimate in cheating – a large serving of chips from your local fish and chip shop. It’s cheating but it’s always popular!
* Thick, hearty vegetable soup. Make lots – it makes a good starter.
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They say that people who keep pets tend to live longer, healthier and happier lives. This may be because keeping pets means that we have something to talk to that responds happily to cuddles and strokes, something that loves us back and listens to us, and (if we keep dogs) something that will make sure that we go for regular walks. However, pets can also come expensive. If some experts are to believed (usually the experts who are trying to sell us something, it should be said), pets need top-quality food, regular treatment for worms and fleas, vaccinations, special toys, treats to train them with, special beds, coats to keep them warm… The list just seems to go on and on. Even humble goldfish seem to have an extensive list of things that they need to keep them healthy and happy. It almost seems as if the price tag that comes with pets outweighs the stress-beating benefits of owning a pet.
This isn’t quite true. Quite a few of these things can be done on the cheap without any ill effects on your pet. This article will look at some of these for cats and for dogs, as this is what the writer is most familiar with.
First of all, it is important to state that you should not cut costs by avoiding desexing cats (especially female cats) or by skipping annual vaccinations. Also, you should see your vet if your pet is obviously in pain or unwell. However, you don’t need to race to the vet for every little scrape, bump or cut – cats are easily able to sleep off a cut or abscess (see the vet if your cat goes off his/her food), and dogs also heal up pretty easily from cuts, as long as they do not become infected. Dogs are easier to restrain, so you can get away with not desexing them, although an on-heat bitch will be a bit messy indoors. Keep up a regular worming schedule, but you can use over-the-counter worm pills, which are cheaper than getting the vet to do it (crush them and add them to food, or wrap them in something tasty to get a pet to eat them).
First of all: food. Dogs are pretty omnivorous – scavengers, even – and they do not need fancy brands of pet food to be happy and healthy. Dogs are very good at eating the fat you trim off meat, not to mention bones left over from roasts, chops and stews. It is said that you should not give a dog chicken bones. However, our dog used to nick them off the compost heap or out of the rubbish with no ill effects, so now we give them to him directly. Dogs eat all sorts of leftovers – any meat, dairy or starch product will be wolfed down gratefully, plus the occasional bit of leftover potato or pumpkin. Dairy products in particular seem to give a dog a nice glossy coat. If you don’t get enough leftovers from the bottoms of saucepans, rejected (or dropped) crusts, fat, bones and other unwanted bits, kids who have eyes bigger than their stomachs, and stuff scraped off plates at the end of the meal prior to washing, then cheap dog sausage or dog biscuits can fill the rest of the way. Beware of giving a dog too much starchy food if he/she spends time indoors, as this will make them break wind frequently.
For cats, bear in mind that cats need a higher amount of protein in their diets than dogs do, so don’t try to feed them on leftover porridge too much. However, leftover meat and trimmed off fat is always appreciated. Cats can be fussy about their food and only accept certain brands, so start on the cheap and buy cut-price or home-brand cat food so you don’t have the problems of trying to get a cat to switch off a high-class brand if you need to save a few pennies. If you put a collar on a cat (which you don’t really need to), don’t put a bell on it – your cat will then be able to supplement his/her diet by catching mice and birds. Don’t be squeamish about this – a cat is a predator by design and instinct, so let them hunt. Do not try to cut costs by feeding a cat on dog food – dog food has a higher starch/carbohydrate level than cat food and won’t meet their needs. You can, however, give a dog cat food.
When training your dog, don’t buy proprietary doggy treats – cheap cat biscuits are usually appreciated, and so are bits of “human food” – my dog does tricks for hot chips.
Pennyroyal deters fleas quite effectively and without irritating your cat or dog too much, and it grows easily in the garden, just inform your gardener London you are growing it for a purpose. Grab a handful and rub it on your pet’s coat (they won’t like this, but persevere), and put a few sprigs in your pets bed. It works.
Don’t bother with special toys for pets – look at what you already have. Sticks and ropes work well as chew toys for dogs, although my Staffordshire Bull Terrier likes to chew a 4×4 tyre suspended from a tree branch. Cats will play chase with all sorts of things like string, balls of paper, handkerchiefs, even large marbles – one cat I owned used to chase cricket balls.
A pet can bed down quite nicely on old clothes and tatty blankets that are unfit for human use. A dog will appreciate having its own spot, such as a kennel or a basket, but a cat will sleep anywhere it feels safe and comfy – some spots that my cats have chosen to sleep include the linen cupboard, the dust sheet on a printer, the end of the bed (a winner with most cats), a toybox full of teddies and a drumkit.
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You might think that you’ve managed to declutter in a lot of areas in your life. Your kitchen is sparkling after your domestic cleaning London lady has cleaned it and doesn’t have umpteen gizmos jammed in the cupboards. All the clothes in your wardrobe are up-to-date (and they fit) and you wear all your clothes – except the special occasion ones – at least once a month. Even your kids’ bedrooms have been transformed by those bright coloured and trendy storage boxes (all carefully labelled in easy-to-read letters or with picture).
But what about your computer? What sort of electronic clutter are you hanging on to?
It’s just as important to make sure we keep our computer hard drives free from clutter and junk. Your hard drive – even if it is a new one that’s super-fast with plenty of gigabytes to spare (remember when even a megabyte was huge and things were measured in kilobytes?) – will run better if it doesn’t have loads of clutter. Until recently, when I finally upgraded, this writer had a computer that frequently requested a clean-out so it could run properly.
Let’s start with the most obvious source of computer clutter: emails. I’m not talking here about those emails that offer you replica Rolexes, online degrees, the chance to earn $$$$$$ at home or things to enlarge what Nature gave you – these obviously get deleted as soon as they hit the mailbox or go straight into the Spam folder. I’m talking about those newsletters from friends or organisations that you enjoy getting, notifications about potential jobs or online auctions and various messages. You need to be ruthless with these, too. Once you’ve read them, do you really need to read them again? The same goes with emails that you’ve replied to. Do you really need to keep them? Obviously, if they contain important information that you’ll need to hang onto for a bit (e.g. a relative’s trip itinerary, instructions for a work project), then keeping them as an email is probably the best way to keep them handy – it creates less clutter than printing them out. However, if it’s something really, really important that you will need for quite some time (e.g. invoices and receipts you’ll need for your tax return) then print out a copy – you never know if the computer’s going to crash dramatically.
Obviously, if you’re going to be ruthless with emails and delete them, you will have to eventually go through the “deleted mail” folder and empty that so things are permanently deleted. How often you should do this is a matter of debate. Some say that once a month is a good amount of time – certainly more often than this could be risky. We’ve all had to retrieve something from the deleted emails messages at least once. Others leave it longer. In this writer’s opinion, three months is a safe amount of time.
The second thing to be ruthless with is pictures. It’s only too easy to connect up the digital camera and upload the pictures – and leave them there unorganised, untouched and un-viewed. Pictures can really clutter up your hard drive – they take up a lot of electronic space. With pictures you’ve taken yourself, have a session to go through them, get rid of the ghastly ones and save the good ones onto disk – and maybe keeping a few for wallpapers and screensavers. And file the CD-ROMs or DVDs with the pictures on carefully so you don’t spend ages hunting for that picture of your three-year-old’s fancy dress party to send to Great Aunt Mary once Great Aunt Mary has figured out how to use her email.
Limit the amount of shortcuts on your desktop. How many of them do you really use? Sometimes, the computer will prompt you to let it run something to clean them up – at least, the Windows XP ones do (not sure if Vista does – I haven’t been using it long enough yet).
Recycling bins, old files, temporary files and the like are other things that also end up taking up virtual space. If you are using a Microsoft Windows platform (XP or Vista), one little tool can deal with all of these for you. This is the “Disk Cleanup” tool, and you’ll find it in the System Tools subfolder of the Accessories folder which you’ll find in the list of All Programs. If you use it a lot (e.g. with an older, slower computer, pin it to the Start menu).
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Modern battery hen farming is a cruelty and a disgrace that ought to be banned. It is a disgusting method that treats a hen as an egg-laying machine rather than living animal with instincts and drives that need to be expressed. “Barn raised” eggs are slightly better, as the hens can wander around in a barn, but they are still kept in very crowded conditions. With the vast majority of chickens being bred for eggs and meat kept in these manners, is it any wonder that chicken flu is such a threat?
Free range hens are healthier and happier, and the eggs taste much better because the hen that laid them has a much more varied diet rather than some processed and carefully measured ration of feed. Free range hens can follow their natural instincts to keep themselves clean, scratch for food, establish a hierarchy within their flock and even breed.
But free range eggs usually cost more than what are euphemistically called “cage eggs”. For some people, the extra cost is worth it. But for other people on a tighter budget, the extra cost can be a real deterrent. But for both sets of people, an alternative method of getting cruelty-free eggs is to raise your own chickens.
This is not as hard as it sounds. Nor do you have to own a farm or even a large garden to do this. If you have the space to keep rabbits or guinea pigs in a moveable ark, you have the space to keep your own hens. While some local by-laws may prohibit people keeping roosters (cockerels) in urban areas (check what applies in your neighbourhood), most areas allow a modest number of hens to be kept in an urban area. Most families will find that keeping three hens is sufficient to keep a reasonable egg supply (if you eat eggs every day, have a large family or make a large number of meringues, then you will need to either supplement your home-laid eggs with bought ones or keep more hens). Hens do not an egg every day – the exact number of eggs per year depends on the breed of chicken If you are permitted to keep roosters, do not keep more than one unless you own a farm and have a large number of hens (i.e. 20+). They will fight viciously for dominance, territory and their harem – to the death if the weaker one cannot escape.
Hens make good pets and can provide about the same entertainment value as canaries and budgies, and some breeds of hen are quite attractive to look at. Hens that have been rescued from battery farms are even better, as they tend to allow people to handle them, making them “cuddlier”. In fact, some people have found that because of their early imprinting, ex-battery hens do not know how to fly onto their roosts to sleep and need to be carried. Chicken dung, at least in this writer’s opinion, does not smell as unpleasant as cat or dog dung, as chickens are omnivorous. Hens cannot be housetrained.
To keep hens, you will need a slightly taller “ark” than guinea pigs or rabbits, as hens need to roost on perches to sleep. Like guinea pigs, hens will need a covered area for shelter plus a “run” to graze in. You will also need to provide a box lined with straw or similar for the hens to lay eggs in. Make sure that you can access the egg box easily. You can make your own moveable ark for hens – it makes a straightforward weekend DIY project. Do not put netting on the floor of the run – chickens don’t dig like rabbits and they need to scratch and take dust-baths. Readymade arks can also be bought. You can also keep hens in a fixed hen-run, if your garden is large enough. This type of hen run does get mucky, and will need to have the dung shovelled out periodically. If you have a garden large enough for a fixed hen-run, you probably also have a compost heap. Chicken manure makes excellent compost – better than sheep or horse manure.
Like all animals, hens need good food and water. You can buy special chicken feed and mash, but this can easily be supplemented with kitchen scraps. Hens are omnivores and will eat meat scraps as well as vegetable scraps (they’re not too keen on potato peelings unless these are boiled into a mash). They also consume garden pests like snails, slugs and caterpillars, and they eat non-poisonous weeds (fathen and chickweed in particular). To make sure that their eggs have strong shells, hens will need calcium. Buy cuttlefish bone from a pet shop or else you can keep old eggshells and crush these to add to their daily feed (bake eggshells first – this prevents the hens from recognising what they are and pecking their own eggs to get the calcium). Hens need protein. Some people recommend soya beans, but dry cat food will probably do and be cheaper (a friend of mine found that one of her hens, if it was allowed to roam, would sneak into the house and raid the supply of cat biscuits). Hens cannot drink from a sipper bottle like guinea pigs and rabbits – they will need an open-top container. You will notice the colour of the yolks varying according to what the hens have been eating.
Hens kept in a run or ark are not totally free-range (they will, however, be perfectly happy and safe from predators). If you have a reasonable sized garden, then you can let them out to wander for an hour or so. If you wish to do this, you will need to train them to a food call so you can get them back into their run again. For the first week or two that you own the hens, keep them in the run. When you feed them (preferably at the same time each day), make a “call” that they will associate with food (calling “Chook, chook, chook” and banging the side of the container you use to bring their food, such as a bucket or old saucepan in is traditional). After a few weeks, you can let them out. To get them back in, give the food call and they will come running back. You may need to fence off your vegetable garden if you do this on a regular basis, as well as your boundary fence.
Your hens will live longer than battery raised hens. When they get too old to lay eggs, then you may wish to keep them as pets or send them to the Happy Hen Run in the sky. If you choose the latter, you may want to pass them onto a neighbour. Old hens are very tough if roasted, but they stew and casserole well. If you are less squeamish, you may prefer to eat them yourself.
Keeping and breeding chickens can also make a good hobby, and some people like to try to breed chickens for looks or for showing. Some breeds that make good layers include the Orpington, the Plymouth Rock and the Rhode Island Red. Bantams, while pretty, are not a good choice if you want eggs, as their eggs are tiny.
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Many parents find that doing the weekly grocery shop is an absolute nightmare when small children are involved. Tantrums at the checkout are all too common. It doesn’t seem to help that supermarkets seem designed to bring out the worst in your child.
For a start, you have coin operated rides outside the entrance (“No! I don’t wanna go into the shop! I wanna play on the (fill in the blank)”). And that’s even if you never (or hardly ever) insert a coin into the slot. Then, first thing through the doors, you are met with either (a) piles of junk food on special, prompting instant pestering, (b) bulk-buy bins with sweeties within easy reach, or (c) teetering piles of vegetables and fruit that will create an avalanche of apples (an applelanche?) if the ones at the bottom (right where your child can reach) are taken.
And then at the checkout, right where you’ve got to wait with a bored and grumpy child, they have chocolate bars, sweets and chewing gum staring your child (but not you) in the face. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced they do all this on purpose! However, some supermarkets have a play area to pop a child into while you’re in the checkout line – if you have someone with you to supervise a toddler.
Some parenting manuals suggest things like “go when your child’s asleep/at playcentre/with grandma” or “don’t shop when you’re tired and/or hungry.” However, children grow out of naps but don’t grow out of pestering, and sometimes you’ve got no choice but to go when you’re a bit pushed for time. After all, how many of us really are able to go in the middle of the morning these days? Or have grandmas handy at the right time?
Tips:
Don’t give in to pester power regarding the checkout chocolates, or you’ll be subjected to it again and again. You should only have to deal with one tantrum here. Older children can be sent ahead to the inevitable rides (minus any coins – they’re still fun to play cars or horses on), as long as they’re within sight of the checkout.
Let children who are old enough to push the trolley push it. Mind you, they will then fight over who’s pushing the trolley this time if you have more than one child old enough.
Don’t just concentrate on doing the shopping. Talk to your child as you go, whether they’re in the trolley seat or walking beside you.
Shop at the same supermarket each time and use a shopping list. This will speed things up.
As soon as your child is old enough to recognize letters of the alphabet, ask them to see what letters they can spot as you go about the supermarket. Even if the child only knows one or two letters, this can keep them going for a while.
Ask children to fetch items for you. Usually, the cheapest items are put low down (away from your eye level – sneaky!), so children can get these for you easily.
As soon as children are old enough to read price tags, ask them to help you find “the cheapest toothpaste” or to “go ahead and see if there’s any specials at the fish counter.”
Some supermarkets offer free bread rolls for children to nibble on. Having once worked as a supermarket bakery assistant, I can assure you that these ones are often fresh (especially later in the day) and keeping the “kiddies’ roll” basket topped up was an important responsibility. Once, when a particularly obnoxious toddler was screaming from the moment he/she got through the doors, the head baker personally took some fresh buns out to the child in question to keep them quiet. I can’t guarantee that all supermarket staff will be this nice, but even the most insignificant staff member knows that making things pleasant for the customers is very, very important – it makes them come back and it slows them down so they buy more…
Have a family competition to see how quickly you can get the shopping done, with everyone working to break the record.
Alternatively, aim for a low-budget record, where you work as a team to find the cheapest and cut out as many fripperies as possible.
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What’s cheap ain’t healthy and what’s healthy ain’t all that cheap. This tends to apply not only to the food for humans you find in the supermarket, but also to commercial dog food. Yes, you want to do the best for your dog and give him or her food that will produce a glossy coat, strong teeth and bones, and general bright eyes and bushy tailedness. Well, you know that one of the ways that you can get yourself off the overprocessed muck masquerading as food is to cook your own meals from scratch. You can do the same for your dog. It’s not hard to do – if you can cook for yourself, you can cook for your pet.
The pet food companies may not like you knowing this information, and the people at your local pet shop (and possibly even your vet) won’t recommend making your own dog food – they make money by selling high-quality pet food, after all. But you can prepare food for a dog that is balanced, healthy and delicious.
The golden rule is getting the proportions right. Like you, a dog needs the right balance of protein, fats, starches and vegetables. It may come as a surprise to many that a dog does not need to live on protein alone – in fact, they should not. But if you stop to think about wolves and wild dogs, you’ll see that even they do not live on 100% meat. If a pack of wolves brings down a deer, the first things they devour are the guts and stomach, which is usually crammed with vegetable material that has been “cooked” by the deer’s stomach. Wild or semi-domesticated dogs that hang around human settlements scrounge scraps of bread and other starchy food off human rubbish dumps. That’s not all – one wolf researcher noted that wolves will eat wild raspberries, and we’ve all noticed our own dogs eating vegetation (this writer’s dog used to eat windfall apricots). The best proportion of nutrients for your dog is one part of protein to one part of carbohydrates to one part of cooked vegetables.
Use all sorts of meat to feed your dog – variety will stop your dog getting bored (or, alternatively, too fussy so he/she refuses to eat anything except the favourite food). Muscle meat can be raw, as can bones, but because of the disease risk, organ meat (which dogs love) should be cooked. Vegetables should be lightly cooked – in fact, you can cook the dog’s vegetables along with your own, as your vegetables should be lightly cooked rather than boiled soggy. Wheat isn’t the best for a dog when it comes to carbohydrates – rice is much better and is more easily digested by dogs.
It’s best to avoid vegetables that have a high amount of proteins as this can give a dog protein overload – this does happen, especially with some pedigree breeds, most notably Dalmatians. Potatoes, pumpkin, peas, carrots, silver beet, celery and courgette – all cooked – are good choices.
What about fat? Dogs do need some fat in their diet, and animal fats don’t have quite the same health drawbacks for dogs that they do for us. After all, we can process olives and sunflowers for oil – wild dogs have to rely on animal and fish fats.
Big bones, which you can get from a good butchery, are great for dogs. Give them to him/her raw and chewing at it will
So what’s a good dog food recipe? Here is a rough guide, although you will have to adjust the quantities to suit your dog’s size, age and activity level.
* 200 g of chuck steak or shin steak (bone in), cut into chunks
* 200g of cooked rice (white or brown)
* 200g of mixed vegetables (the mixes in the frozen food department at your supermarket that typically contain peas, carrots, corn and beans are fine).
Cook the vegetables and maybe the meat, then stir everything up together.
An alert reader will probably have noticed that this would make a pretty good meal for a human, which it is. Yes, you can give a dog leftover human food, but if you want to have a healthy dog, feeding leftover fatty fried foods and cakes isn’t a good idea. But come to think about it, you won’t be doing yourself any favours eating this sort of food either.
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So you’ve seen a mouse skittering through the house and it’s not an escaped pet. Now what are you going to do? Well, the first thing is to get off that chair – it’s more afraid of you than you are of it, and you don’t have to worry, like a Victorian lady, that it’s going to climb up your crinoline and get lost in your petticoats.
Infestations of vermin are more common during autumn as mice move in out of the cold to places where food is abundant, and lots of warmth and shelter are available. Old wooden houses and those with adjoining garages are the most prone to become rodent lodgings, but the little beggars can sneak in anywhere. They don’t even need the traditional mouseholes to get in, either. Loose floorboards, open doors or even the trapdoor thingummy that the plumber uses to get under the house to deal with pipes are all potential entrances for mice.
Seeing a “wee, sleekit, timorous, cowering beastie” running across the floor is not the only way you can tell that you have a mouse in the house. Frequently, the first sign of mice is the tell-tale droppings, which look like black grains of rice. These turn up in odd cupboards and drawers, sometimes along with very finely shredded bits of paper, plastic or wood. Areas where rubbish or grain-based products are stored are common areas to find them, but they will go anywhere that they can detect crumbs – I’ve known them to turn up in a drawer full of teatowels (I am still flummoxed as to how one got in there) and in my paper recycling bin.
If you come across these tell-tale signs, the first thing to do is to clean and disinfect the area. You will also need to throw out any contaminated food. A vacuum cleaner is the best way to get up the droppings, as they can be in all sorts of odd nooks and crannies, and you often miss these with a dustpan and brush, especially in a dark cupboard. Do not wait until your domestic cleaning London lady visits you, but vacuum as soon as you notice the droppings.
The mouse is probably still in your house somewhere. This means you will need to set a trap. Do not be squeamish and waste your time with a trap that catches mice alive. Get an old-fashioned spring-loaded trap that kills quickly and humanely. Do not think that you will be able to keep a wild-caught mouse as a pet – they need to be handled from birth to make good pets. Contrary to popular culture, mice are not particularly attracted to cheese, so don’t bother wasting good Edam or Cheddar on a mousetrap. Peanut butter is much better and sticks to the trigger mechanism more easily. And don’t be a muggins when baiting the trap. Bait it first and set it second or you will end up with a nasty bruise on your thumb (rat traps are larger and stronger and would probably break your finger nastily. Handle with care). Put the trap where you found the droppings (or where you saw the mouse) and warn your family of its whereabouts so nobody stands on it or puts their hand on it. A sign saying “Watch out for the mousetrap!” on the outside of the drawer of cupboard works to warn forgetful people – mice can’t read!
Check the mousetrap regularly or if you hear it going off with that distinctive snapping noise. Long-dead mice stink, attract flies and are revolting to get rid of, while fresh-killed mice are not particularly noxious (wash your hands well afterwards, though). Very occasionally, the mice can bolt before the trap closes shut and get trapped awkwardly rather than killed. In this case, you will hear it bumping around in your cupboard and possibly a pathetic squeak. Get a hammer, a poker or some other heavy object and put it out of its misery. Do not be half-hearted out of pity – a good hard whack is much more humane and minimises the mouse’s suffering. Then deal with the corpse (I feed them to my dog).
The next step is to find out where the mouse got in, if possible, and block the hole up. This is the most difficult part, as they can gnaw through wood and plastic and always seem to find a new way into older houses. A housebrick makes a good temporary method. And sometimes, finding where and how they got in is next to impossible – I have no clue how they get into some of my kitchen drawers.
Take steps to prevent mice from coming back. Be ruthless about crumbs left lying around. Having said that, however, I have found that they still may come back.
Keeping a cat can help to keep the mice down. Some cats are better mousers than others, but the instinct will be there with most of them, and they will at least have a go. The smell of cats in a house can deter mice to a certain extent, but unless you let a cat roam freely in your kitchen cupboards (not likely with all the food in there), this is not 100% effective. Some dogs will try to chase mice but they are not very good at it.
Rats are a different proposition altogether. They are larger, smarter and tougher than mice and fight furiously when cornered. They can gnaw through ice cream containers and eat meat. Conventional mousetraps don’t work on them and some cats aren’t up to killing them (out of the four cats I have kept over my lifetime, only one was an efficient rat-catcher) – and rats are smart enough to figure out if your cat is a threat or not. The only way I have managed to get rid of rats is with poison (risky if you have small children or keep cats and dogs) or by a concentrated campaign of persecution by setting my bull terrier on them (other terrier breeds are also good ratters) and/or taking a swipe at one with a garden implement. After the revolting creature has had a few good scares, it is smart enough to take itself off to a safer place… which isn’t yours. If you don’t own a dog and don’t like using poison, then call a professional in.
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