Tweet…you don’t have a special cupboard for storing cleaning products because most of the things you use for cleaning live in the kitchen and live a double life as food.

…you are quite prepared to have an argument with your spouse/partner/flatmates about the merits of baking soda and the like for cleaning versus “that overpriced stinking chemical muck” in the middle of the supermarket, regardless of crowds collecting to watch.

…you are a bit dubious about hiring a professional cleaner for your house, as you suspect that a professional might bring in all the chemicals you’ve been trying to avoid for years.

…you buy baking soda in bulk and you know where to find the massive containers of vinegar commonly used by restaurants.

…when you read period novels about life below stairs, you have your eyes peeled for descriptions of how the maid(s) cleaned various odd items, either to spot mistakes or to learn new tips.

…most of the essential oils in your home are disinfectant-type ones such as tea tree oil rather than the more flowery ones like ylang-ylang.

…you are a frequent visitor at your local liquor store and have given up explaining that you need large quantities of vodka for cleaning glass rather than because you’re hitting the bottle.

…you have considered starting up your own professional cleaning company using natural cleaning methods only. Surely there are other people like you who want to avoid household toxins as much as possible but don’t have heaps of time to clean their house.

…your concern for your household environment extends to the wider environment and you cringe when you see people glibly spraying chemicals around your child’s classroom.

…the only interest you have in brand-name cleaning chemicals is the package they come in – that spray bottle that has a foam-producing nozzle looks very handy.

…you have tried cleaning the toilet using a brush for the part under the rim – and lived to tell the tale, even though you gagged when you saw the gunk coming out.

… you have been to at least one Enjo sales party and have bought a few of the microfibre cleaning cloths.

…you don’t balk at the idea of cleaning leather upholstery. A bit of olive oil will do the trick, won’t it? (It will).

…your recipe book has a section dedicated to cleaning products, and this section has more entries than the section dedicated to entreés.

…it’s been so long since you used an ammonia-based product for cleaning glass or floors that you start gagging and coughing if someone uses it near you. The same applies to chlorine, but trips to your local swimming pool have hardened you to it.

… you are quasi-fanatical about saving soap scraps to boil down into soap gel, which you will use for cleaning floors, cleaning cars, cleaning the toilet…

…you’ve got no idea where your local dry cleaning agent is located, as you are quite capable of handwashing anything delicate.